Why We Shoudln't Celebrate Women's Day In India

In the light of International Women's Day this Sunday and the recent Nirbhaya documentary controversy. A thought came across my mind, do we really need to celebrate Women's day in our country? After all we treat our women with utmost respect all the time. Why do they need to have one more day especially for them.

After all women have it so easy.. born if you are allowed to be.. study if you are allowed to.. get married to someone you don't want to... get beaten by husband when he wants to.. make babies(read: boys).. cook.. clean.. care for everyone.. all this while bringing in a healthy dowry like a car.. lots of cash.. TV.. Scooter.. Jewellery.. They have such an easy life and all they do is complain.

They complain that they are not considered equal to men. Of course you are not equal to men. You can never do things that men can. Men and women have different roles in society. Men are supposed to earn the bread for the house and in the process can do whatever the hell he wants after all he brings the food to the table. While women are supposed to do the easy things like cooking cleaning and getting pregnant. Certain women also complain that they don't get paid equal at their jobs. I ask them, why do you have to work? That is not your role in family, that is not Indian Culture. Indian women are supposed to be at home.. covered from head to toe.. not go out at night.. not eat fast food.. not wear jeans.. not say anything to her husband.. not make eye contact with any one.. They should simply not exist.. not breathe.

They complain they are not safe.. I don't agree with that.. Women in our country are very safe. How can you be harmed when you stay at home. At home you are unsafe only if you oppose your husband or in laws. Which you should never do. If you do that then you deserved to be punished. Otherwise you will have problems only if you don't follow the rules I mentioned above. If you are a girl who goes out at night with boys and watch movies, go to pubs and drink, or simply went out for an ice cream after its dark. That is not what this country is about. If you do that boys are not to blame if you are raped or murdered. It is completely the girls fault for being independent having a voice and dreams. Men will be men, they will rape you they will kill you but only if you are asking for it. See let me make you understand for eg. if you are wearing skirts or shorts.. you are asking for it. If you are wearing jeans.. you are asking for it.. if you are wearing tight salwar kameez.. you are asking for it.. if you are wearing a saree.. you are asking for it.. If you are wearing a school dress.. you are still asking for it.. If a rape has happened it is the girl who is wrong. It is she who is taking the blame.. it is her whose life is ruined.. it is her who will be depressed.. it is her who will lose the will to live.. Guys, they are innocent creatures.. like wolves.

I haven't watched the documentary.. I don't want to.. I know what they will say.. The same that every man who is defending a rapist can say. Same old things which our politicos have said many times. I just feel for the women in the life of such men. Their daughters, wives, mothers, sisters, daughter in law. Every year on women's day we go bonkers with the FB sand Twitter updates talking about women empowerment, and how we should be proud of our women and celebrate their presence and compare them to goddesses and list out some names of great women. We do all this for one day and get back to asking mothers or wives to cook for you the next probably the same day.

Women make up half the world, roughly 3.5 billion women in the world. We still have give them a special day and make them feel important for one day because we treat them like dirt the rest of the days. I feel if you have to give something that makes up half the world a day so we can see how awesome they are, it doesn't make sense. Our ultimate goal is equality be it in terms of social status, at work or at home. Yes, we need to change a lot and we need to create more awareness about issues women of this country face and I am all for that, so as of now this day is needed.

But I look forward to the time when we don't need a pretentious day to celebrate women in our country. If that will happen or not, I am not so sure.

 

Specism

When I started to think about this Post, I was wondering what I should keep as the title. I wanted to write and convey about how we as Indian are so diverse yet at the same so discriminating. We always complain about others being racist towards us, in other countries. But we in our own country are the biggest racists. We discriminate on the basis of skin, religion, caste, creed, sex, language or orientation, money. Basically in whichever way the other person is not like you we bring them down. Taunt them, Haunt them. We don't even have to pull them down, because they are already down and we our survival depends on keeping them down. We dont treat them as other Humans, we dont treat them as other creatures as well, we treat them as a different species. Now I am not going to discuss the answers or solutions to the problem, that is a very vast topic with reppercussions which I can't even forsee with my limited knowledge.

For me to talk about all aspects of the way we discriminate is impossible, I have not faced all and many have just become limited to rural parts of the country, but there are the one's that do exist in the cities. Right there in front of us for all to see. And I am pretty sure some of us would have faced one or the other at some point in your life. A rich kid showing of his money to his not so rich friends or an Indian waiter who gives more attention to a table next to you with a White Guy. The world is funny in those sense Black hate the White, White hastes Black and Brown, Brown is scared of Black and wants to be White and everybody hates the Asians Its funny how even after we are rid of the British from 1947, the stigma of being brown is still there. And Indians themselves would treat our Caucasian couterparts with more attention and respect than they would an Indian fellow. Now believe me there is no fault of the White guy here, he didnt ask to be treated a specific way.

Why I am talking about it is cuz I am pissed off. To give you an example I have stauch supporters from two largest parties of India on my Facebook and as we know one is a Pro Hindu and other calls themselves Secular. And I see these guy writing things which are outrageous and blaming and abusing each other, this was at the peak during elections. I am going to refrain from using any religion in specific over here, but we all know how stauch a supporter from any party can be. I found it absolutely hilarious after so many years we still have to have a politics based on the religion. Do we really need it in this day an age? Do we really need to know the religion of the person who is going to be responsible for 1.2 billion people? For me religion is something that will give me hope and guide me during the dark times of my life. I don't think that today anybody who is anybody can claim that we follow our religion as it was followed ages back, and the reason is it was desinged to be followed ages back. Religion should not be something that tells you what you cannot do, it should be telling me what I should to be a good person. It shouldn't tell me that I cannot have Tandoori Chicken on Tuesdays. Nor it can tell me that if I die for my religion I will have a good sex life in heaven. Everyday we fight in the name of religion from the smallest of things like cricket or a dispute between neighbors it blows into a full fleged communal riots. Do we need leaders who are communal, dont get me wrong the so called Seculars are not that far away from being communal. For a country to change the propoganda on the name of Religion needs to stop. This reminds me of Nana Patekar of Karntiveer "Ye le Hindu ka khoon Musalman ka khoon bata kiska khoon kiska". Not only that in the same religion as well we don't like other castes. Intercaste marriage is still a huge no-no at some places, lovers get killed because of caste issues is a common thing at some places. Everyone who doesn't stay at home know how difficult it is to adjust to a new language, and on top of it when you have people look down on you and take advantage of you for that fact is also a thing. Those small amount of people who don't make you feel welcome are enough to spoil the thing for the entire community. The North and South divide in India is huge. For North everyone is a Madrasi and dark, and for South everyone is loud and cultureless. Those generalisations and the corny movies(Read: Chennai Express) that instill these are the ones to blame.

Before I start this I want to do an exercise, close your eyes and think about your dream woman/man.... I am going to read your mind.. Dream Woman would have been tall, slim, fair and probably in a saree... Dream man would have been tall, dark, nmuscular, six pecs, shirtless in a denim. I might have gone wrong with the clothes here and there. In a country where there is a fairly huge gap in gender ratio, from what I have heard certain places they have to buy a wife as well its pretty pathetic that we have this norms established and companies make a killing selling us stuff to make us fair, slim and god knows what. If only you could get a pill for common sense and personality our country would be a much better place. You can be categorised very easily from Slut to Sanyasi based on you apperance, friends, what time you come back home.. everything. I have always noticed certain women always walk with their bags clutched in front of them and looking down on the road and walking only looking up to see the traffic and look back down no eye contact with anyone. They feel unsafe in pulic places and not without reason. Why do we make them unsafe? Why are they bent on not having women in their life? I don't get it, Guys please understand if there are no women you dont get anything.. no children, no family, and a lot of other things we guys love..

Religion and discrimination against women go hand in hand in our country. Though it might not be as bad as certain other countries where women can't do pretty much anything. The condition of our women is not very good. Everyday a Rape case happens which I have discussed in detail in one of my previous posts. Women not allowed to worl after getting married is common even in large cities. They are made to be "Housewife", I so hate this term, wtf is a housewife? is she married to the damn house? And why does she have to cook and clean for you? Get a maid. They are raised this way to always obey the husband, she is expected to know everything. It is not the girls fault, I think its the parents who need to feed to the girls that they need to be independent. If the women of your family are not independent and have a say how does you family grow? She is expected to take everything silently? Domestic abuse? Dowry Harrasment? Sexual Harrasment? And they do keep silent, they absorb everything for the sake of her children and society. I say screw the society and pack your bags take your kids leave. Recently there was an Airtel advert which raised voices of feminits about showing women in wrong light, they are idiots. I think taht is the perfect example of a modern Indian family where both husband and wife re okay with their roles and there is no ego that comes into play. He knows she is the boss and yet she goes home and cooks happily for him. Happily is the key here nobody forced her to cook. Now they were okay with a very similar advert about a rice brand, inwhich husband comes homes after work and wife serves him dinner, over here wife was not even the boss but that is okay and acceptable since it is our culture.. screw you... I am not against feminists, but there is a difference between being a feminist and a hypocrite.

The day we stop being racist to ourselves, we stop cutting each other on religion and respect pur women we can do a lot better than today. As I said earlier I could not come up with the situation we face in India, in which we treat each other as another sepcies so I came up with Specism.

Fake Citizen.

No more Mr. Nice Guy

His friend asked him.. "What happened to you? You used to be a nice guy."

He starts thinking.. wondering what happened.. he does remember himself being nice... he hardly ever is now.. he has become this bullying cunning selfish heartless prick who didn't want anybody near him neither did anyone wanted to be near him.. he starts going back..

School, he thinks.. he never really had much problem there.. he was always average.. average in studies in sports in any activity.. at best he was second best.. but.. that was not the problem.. problem was around him.. being what he was he never really had any friends he wasn't in any groups.. he used to hang with everyone but he was unwanted everywhere.. looked down upon made fun of.. not a back bencher not the one in the front.. never fitting in but never complained.. he realized by the end that he needed to get what he wanted himself.. he learnt to bully...

He went further, he reached college.. he somehow managed to get some friends there.. but the same friends were also competition.. with not much of a personality or any sense of the outside world this whole stage was a rude shock for a boy from a small town. Starting from people to culture the food everything was different, he adjusted.. he still did enjoy all the parts of being in a college.. but not everything works his way.. Our boy was in love... yes. The teenage love grew in his heart, but only in his. He tried and tried giving himself and everything he could away in sheer hope. Every now and then he saw some hope and he hung on to that only for that to be crushed. He waited... the more he waited the meeker the hope.. and the more he gave himself away. Until he gave up.. he realized that he couldn't give himself away by attaching on to people.. he says "Never again".. he learnt to be heartless..

Wise from his past experiences he starts his new phase. He is no longer a dependent now, he embarks into the the real world now. Confident to make it there.. He gives it his all.. but he is in the corporate world, things are not that simple.. There are beasts around, there is cut throat competition, people don't hesitate to bury someone just to make themselves look better, he was gonna face that real soon. He used all his learning's.. but never was successful. This is where he said he will have to steal what he wants by hook or crook. And he became the selfish and cunning guy.

Looking back he now realized, why he had become what he had. He thought now he had a choice, to make it right.. he could be that nice guy again. But what is worth it. Nice guys its not taken the way it should be. Being nice means being weak, not being able to stand for them self. Being nice means being pushed around and not talk about it, that's the new definition of being nice. The choice was clear to him.

He looked at his friend and said "No More Mr. Nice Guy".

The Great Indian Middle Class

Middle Class... what is that supposed to mean? It does not mean poor, most certainly not rich. It is somewhere in between. But there is a vast difference between the middle class of the past and now.

In the past when we were kids, majority of us knew we were middle class, and we had specific materialistic things by which we used to differentiate between us and The Business Class. Like outside dinners were only limited to birthdays and anniversaries.   Movies were rare, gifts were only occasional. But it does not mean we were not satisfied, we were not happy. Rather those rare occasions were more cherished. Like the first bicycle, the summer vacation video games. That was the old middle class.

With the new youth came the new middle class. The gap between the business class and middle class reduced. Yes the rich were still rich the poor were still poor, but the middle class got better, lifestyle improved so did the salaries. But this created a divide as well, the lower and upper middle class. The lower were pushed lower, they were pretty much were like the old middle class. The upper middle class though has changed they go to movies everytime and spend more on popcorn then the movie, eat out almost every day. But the question still was the same... Are we happy? Are we satisfied? I can go to  a mall buy anything just because I could, but in my mind I am still the old middle class guy, I would rather prefer getting things I wanted from long out of the blue. Would rather shop when there is a discount. Would crib when the prices rise, even though that amount doesn't affect our budget at all. It's that paranoia, that mentality.

32% of India is urban. The middle class is going to be around 27 cr in a few years. You, me are going to be a part of it. We are the ones they refer when people say Mango people in a Banana Republic. Are we satisfied? No.. Do we want change? Yes... but my friends my question... Will the change be for the better? I am not so sure. It's a choice between a snake and a tiger.

The Great Indian Middle Class will continue to thrive, there is no other way.

Fake Citizen.

A Day From The Past - 2

26th January 2001 8:46 AM

It was Republic Day... A holiday... As all holidays I was sleeping peacefully with kitchen sounds in my background and I feel  my bed moving,  I think it is my mom trying to wake me up and I beg her to sleep for a few more minutes. Then I hear my Mom shouting...........

"Beta Bhag Bhukamp."(Run Son its an Earthquake)

90 seconds... 90 seconds it lasted... And in those 90 seconds around 19000 people died.. 167000 people injured... 400000 people homeless.. Estimated loss of $5 billion.... Its funny how such little time can bring dramatic changes in the life of so many people.. I was in Ahmedabad so the devastation was comparatively lesser then the near by City of Bhuj... But I still saw certain things which are unsettling.. I have seen people losing homes... relatives... I didn't realize this then but I do now...

So when this earthquake struck.. my Mom asked me to run... I ran from our 2nd floor apartment...Somewhat sleepy somewhat terrified somewhat confused... I didn't really understand what was happening around me... I couldn't run straight I couldn't my eyes open and a little scared... While running I saw bikes falling a tree uprooting all this was very weird to my brain.. The adrenaline was pumping now and I was running scared to turn around and look back... Only once I stopped I realized that The quake had too and I see around... Nobody they all had stopped running long back...

Only after it stopped and I didn't see anyone... My first thought as any child would have was of my parents where are they? I see them looking for me anxiously, they call me back... "There they are" I say to myself... Its the thing with parents you will always find them when you need them no matter how far you are... That's it the worse was over for me.. On the way back I meet a friend and we are both laughing at the turn of events and how exciting it was and what were we doing when it happened and retelling the whole story..

For the 11 year old me that was the world my parents and friends and school (which I had no news of and later came to know took some damage and we were moved to a different branch)... I came to about the severity of the event when I saw people gathered around our car trying to get some news on the radio.. Only All India Radio was functioning all FM stations were out... Funny how we criticize the govt and only govt stuff works in such situations...  Serious expression on every adult's face... Scared and serious face...

Only once the power was back on we saw what has happened around the state... Fallen building... Dead people... Injured people... Seeing all this was a first time and it was disgusting... I couldn't watch it... But there was something in this time that brought people together... Everyone stood by each other no matter the differences... People were willing to help.. We had collected food and clothes by going from house to house which came up to 3 truck loads and it was sent to Bhuj where people were more effected.. It was something in the times that make people generous giving.. Don't know if it is the fear of death that makes them like that or the fear of God after Death.. But whatever it was it worked.. People were back to work schools were up.. Shelter homes were empty very quickly... It brought a feeling of being one and facing the issues... Yes the state has had its share of communal tension but this was not the time and that was everyone's thought..

A cloud with a silver lining is still a cloud... So yes I get scared every time I hear about such news anywhere in the world... The scenes are not pretty... the effects of people's lives are not easily mended...But as Shahrukh Khan's famous dialogue goes.. "Haso jiyo muskurao... Kya pata Kal ho na ho"..

Fake Citizen

A Day From The Past

26th January 2001 8:46 AM

It was Republic Day... A holiday... As all holidays I was sleeping peacefully with kitchen sounds in my background and I feel  my bed moving,  I think it is my mom trying to wake me up and I beg her to sleep for a few more minutes. Then I hear my Mom shouting...........

25th January 2001 - Sometime in the evening

I was in 7th Standard that time so say I was about 11 years old that time.. As my usual routine, time I reach home from school and quickly grab something to eat while my Mom as always keeps asking questions about what I did in school? And since exams were approaching or they had just finished I don't exactly remember but her questions were harder to answer then usual.

Anyways so I try to finish my evening snack as quickly as I can to avoid more questions plus since it was the winter I didn't get much time to play in the evening if I was late because it gets dark early. So I finish my snack and just bolt to the ground, not that I was much of a sports guy just that it used to be fun or at least looking back now it seems fun. We had a large ground so we used to play pretty much everything Cricket, Football, Volley ball, trying to look cool when the girls are watching... yeah that was a game too and every guy always lost. So we used to play, I wasn't a really bad player but I pretty much sucked at every game. I was one of those guys who used to get picked just before the that fat kid.

So we finished playing and we all guys were like hanging out poking fun at each other and pulling each others leg teasing them with some random chick.. yeah that was the in thing to do that time, and the poor guy used to turn pink or blue depending upon the situation or how bad the prank was. And we start talking about the Republic Day celebrations. I never used to attend those, till date I am not sure if my school even had Republic Day celebrations since I have never been to one I have heard rumours though. But we had it in our neighbour hood, I join in the conversation knowing full well that I won't be there  but since everyone was talking I joined in nodding my head every time I was asked something. Probably they were just talking about the free food they will get.

So finally I bid adieu to my friends and start walking home, as I reach I dread the sight of it, my Mom is standing in the balcony looking down on the road which means.... I am late. So I climb the stairs even more slowly just to avoid the shouting I was going get for a little longer. Its like an addiction of alcohol or smoking, you know you are going to die but you still have to do it. So I am there I don't remember what did she said to me mostly because I didn't listen half the time.(I do now).. Later part of the evening was pretty dull Dad came home so I became the best kid in the world, I still didn't do my homework though, I never did, I never understood why but I just never did. So I had dinner watched some TV and slept. Like any other day. Oblivious to the fact that tomorrow will be so different.....

26th January 2001 8:46 AM

It was Republic Day... A holiday... As all holidays I was sleeping peacefully with kitchen sounds in my background and I feel  my bed moving,  I think it is my mom trying to wake me up and I beg her to sleep for a few more minutes. Then I hear my Mom shouting...........

"Beta Bhag Bhukamp."(Run Son its an Earthquake)

To be Continuied

Fake Citizen

Venting Citizen

Right... So I am not really sure what made me start this thing... But well I did and you my friend took out the time to read this. So I am really new at this and will take some getting used to so lets just see I don't even know if I will post again ever...But hey... what the heck right!!!!

Venting

So I am not the kind of a person who really gets upset with what goes on in the country.. I might get surprised once in a while but not really bothered.. I don't even watch the news often, the closest I have been to being upset by something on TV is when India loses matches on the trot(well... got used to it now). But the thing that happened in Delhi has been running in mind from some time now and I don't know why but like many others it has pissed me off and I don't know what to do about it rather I am just too busy( read lazy) to do anything about it... probably that's the reason I started this blog... I needed to vent.

What happened there is shameful agreed... people are upset angry accepted.. government is not doing enough given.. police is not effective again agreed... But within all this there have been very few and far people who really questioned the society at large!!! We as people or citizens of this country where do we stand?? Oppression towards women has been going on from ages...Take Sita for example from Ramayana.. Just to say... I daresay I was bemused by the reaction of people on social networking sites and BBM and whatsapp or whatever or wherever... putting Black dots as ur profile pics!! Setting up #safetyforwomen or any other for that matter... people are forwarding the horror that poor girl went through to people... please for god's sake have a conscience.... I personally was utterly disgusted by this... I had a chat with once guy once on this over bbm and he said to me if I have slightest of humanity I will put up a hash tag as my status... Is it suddenly cool that you are putting up a status by someone else's misery... It is very easy to do all that you just sit in ur couch or bed all comfy cozy change your picture put up a status and that's it we have done our part now its upto the govt to take care of this mess and punish those guys.... We will go to sleep...

Media has raked in the maximum advantage of this... they call her Nirbhaya... Anamika... Damini.. and a few more name which I cant remember now... They have created this whole huge situation and in most ways it is a good thing... Bring such things to light and then following up on it and keeping it in headlining news for such a long time is commendable in a country like ours where there is more news then the pages in the news paper... But what they have done in the process is that the actual issue is now lost some where! It went from the rape to judiciary to police to politics to politicians making dumb statements to Khaps to everything in the world... The have now just created so much confusion for people that they are now not able to concentrate on the actual thing of how to stop this thing from happening again... I dont blame them completely there have been so many things happening that it is difficult to concentrate on just one thing at a time... They need to run a TV channel at the end of the day... Arnab, Rajdeep all have tried to cover as much as they can..... and in the process rake in as much money as they can...

We have always known that our politicos are down right dumb (apart from a few).. They do dumb things... They say dumb things... Then they withdraw the statement... How much dumber can someone become... I mean every single time there is an issue there are at least 5 to 6 dumb statements..... Few examples below:-

I love the part when Arnab just owns Mukherjee....... Do I need to say more???? No...... OK...


Just to say... Mr. Bhagwat said that Rapes happen in India not Bharat.. What he implies is that it happens only in urban India and not rural India... this article shows differently ... And god knows the the number of cases that go unreported by fear of banishment from the village and lack of support from cops and judiciary....

All in all what I wanted to say we try to blame everyone in the world.. The thing I heard was that someone is blaming a singer for vulgar songs.. Khaps are blaming Chowmien!!!!!!!! Bollywood is responsible.. Please understand people that Movies and Songs are a mirror of society and not the other way round.... and Chowmien is well Chowmein its food.......

Some also go to say its the woman's fault.. she should stay at home and cook look after kids and husband.. Well.. I don't want to say anything to them... Blame everyone but the rapists... And on top leave on out of it cuz he is 17...

My last hope for her... Let her rest now... don't reliven the horrors for her and her family again.. And lets just see how fast the justice comes in this case.. And we forget that there are hundreds of other girls and women out there with whom similar atrocities have been inflicted hope they dont go unnoticed amid all this... My point with writing this was not to bring a change or be heard... I just needed to vent since I am not part of the protesters getting mauled by Delhi Police.. Since Morning to night daily I work.. I don't have time for all this I am sure nor do you... Lets not bring a change... Lets not awake... First lets just look at ourselves for once...


Fake Citizen